For the most part, women are the people who tend to engage in this kind of malicious, made-up gossip.. | She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011. If you can't find something to compliment them on, try helping them instead. Step # 2- You can only do your part. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience. Since this kind of gossip may be subtle, its often hard to pinpoint the source. Those who dont are behaving in a cowardly manner. Such people tend to have a because I can and because its simply more fun for me this way mindset. "I can totally relate to this article as I have been experiencing it in my current workplace. There have been some implications that specific personality type links to addiction. From gossip columnists to magazines and shows dedicated to scandals and hearsay, he says its no surprise that gossipparticularly the negative, juicy kindpervades our daily life. But, it may be wise to watch this person more closely. When you deal with a gossiper, rather than continuing to pile on to the conversation about someones bad points, let the gossiper know that you are very accepting of others, no matter their appearance, or whatever the gossip was commenting on. We have pity for the hero/heroine and fear that their experience might happen to us. Your team will no longer take you seriously and will begin participating in the same destructive behavior. Try to piece together different angles and possible misunderstandings about what was said and by whom. Make sure you're gracious, honest and teachable in your approach. The singer, 29, was . Barbara Greenberg, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist who specializes in the treatment of adolescents and their well-intentioned but exhausted parents. I don't want him to think I'm upset with him.". Things You Should Know Determine whether the information is true, harmful, or needs to be said. Jamie Roberts Assistant US Showbiz and TV Editor. To learn how to deal with people who want to gossip with you, read on! Don't give them the consideration of taking it any further. Gossip can easily turn into racist remarks when you use negative statements about the persons heritage. True friends will ignore the negative noise and stay by your side. Get the help you need from a therapist near youa FREE service from Psychology Today. But we know how gossip makes us feel when we hear it. People who gossip say bad things about other people to make themselves feel better by comparison. The cookies is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Necessary". It feels pretty awful to have people talk about you behind your back. Other uncategorized cookies are those that are being analyzed and have not been classified into a category as yet. To distract yourself from the negativity, do things that you enjoy, like spending time outside, playing video games, or reading a good book. 5. Think of a gossip like a fire: The less fuel you give it, the less it will spread. Should Couples Really Share Their Sexual Histories? Thats why treating a gossip kindly or complimenting them may end the negative comments. Frank Blaney is a Certified Qigong and Tai Chi Instructor with over 15 years of teaching experience. "I am being gossiped about at school because I said happy birthday to a guy that I used to like, and the people that, "This helped me because there is a girl at school who loves to talk about me and my friends to her friends. On the other hand, gossipers are often perceived as unlikeable because they ruin reputations and betray confidences. This is gossip at its best, he says. ", there were some great words of wisdom. When it comes to gossipunrestrained conversations about other peopleteachers are certainly not immune. And even if they sometimes dothey're just human after allthey try to regulate themselves so that they can avoid turning it into a habit. Today I found out that my cousin talked bad rumors about me at school everyone knows my. Gossip might even be a type of verbal harassment. When it comes to the rumor mill, both types of information-sharing have the potential to be damaging. Survive the Gossip Target on Your Back. Consider the following ways of effectively dealing with gossip: Deflect. Boost the self-esteem of the gossip with something you like about them People who gossip may talk badly about others because they lack self-esteem or self-worth. to better understand their motives. Unless the person admits to starting the rumor, there is no real way of resolving the issue. Do Narcissists Know They Are Narcissists? Certainly, gossip can be problematic to both those gossiped about and to the gossipers themselves. Gossip or spreading rumors can empower an individual, Dr. Breur states. Because of this, Harbinger and I teamed up to offer some advice on how to handle and process these situations: Negativity makes them look bad, not you. New research explains how dating apps are changing people. When an attempt to resolve an issue drives your partner away. % of people told us that this article helped them. She explains that sometimes, a gossiper may be needy, enjoying the fact that theyre privy to something others dont know. Becoming victims of slander or malicious gossip can be diffi. Often toxic people compulsively seek attention at all costs. You can also try catching up to the person when he is alone (for example, walking to his car after work) or calling him on the phone if you don't think you'll have any other suitable time to talk alone. Rather than wasting time on negative talk, lets look at some ways that you can respond to people who gossip. I'm sorry if I offended you by suspecting that you'd gossip about me. This article has been viewed 1,191,124 times. wikiHow marks an article as reader-approved once it receives enough positive feedback. Determining if the Gossip Really Happened, {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/7\/72\/Confront-Someone-Who-Has-Been-Gossiping-About-You-Step-1-Version-2.jpg\/v4-460px-Confront-Someone-Who-Has-Been-Gossiping-About-You-Step-1-Version-2.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/7\/72\/Confront-Someone-Who-Has-Been-Gossiping-About-You-Step-1-Version-2.jpg\/aid9972-v4-728px-Confront-Someone-Who-Has-Been-Gossiping-About-You-Step-1-Version-2.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":325,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":514,"licensing":"